I am using my computer for the first time in like two months…I have been on my ipad due to the convenience. I love my ipad but there’s nothing like internet browsing on a normal computer.

I haven’t been able to blog on a regular basis since I was a sophomore in college. Ironically, I haven’t blogged or written poetry much since I got with Erik. I was a very lonely, emotionally disturbed person prior to and during much of our relationship. But something filled me up enough to where I didn’t feel that itch to document my angst on a daily basis like I did before. 

Now I have a different itch to write and it’s not only because of the release it gives. I have neglected my creativity for a long, long time in pursuit of dreams and goals that challenged me more. I have always been the type of person where once I get comfortable or proficient in something, I have the urge to move on and challenge myself in another genre. I am glad that I have the urge to push myself in areas where I feel uncomfortable or challenged, but in the process I have abandoned a lot of my real talents and niches. And that, I regret. But all is not lost, and I’m not one for much regret, so I figure why not get started and continue where I left off.

I love to write. I used to especially love writing poetry because I could be vague and ridiculous and veiled and that was just fine. No one needed to understand what it meant and it was only me that really knew the philosophy behind the words. My secrets woven within words that other people could make mean whatever it is they wanted. I love the idea of that. I don’t know if I can get into writing poetry again because I was in such a different frame of mind back then. I was so utterly alone in my own head. I had a lot of short, failed relationships and people I pined over so I had a lot of subject matter. Now, I treasure my relationship and it is in such a better place. I don’t think I want to share it with others just yet, in such an intimate way.

But, I can still blog. And I may just keep at it.